Sunday, March 6, 2011

The Mystery of Love





I don't know why I suddenly miss him...


Maybe this past few days, he's been sick and I was too busy with my work and we didn't had the time to talk.


HIndi ako sanay nang hindi kami nagkikita. Araw-araw. For almost 7 years we tried to see each other everyday. Hindi ko alam kung ako lang ang hindi nag sasawa, but my day is not complete without seeing him.


Magka text kami from sunrise to sunset. Everyday, we keep on reminding each other to "hey, eat your lunch", "Kamusta ka dyan?", "pauwi ka na?", "goodnite.. sleep na tayo.", "How was your day?"...
so many things that made to the point that things become routinary. Still, hindi kami nagsasawa.


Every year, we tried to arrange for an out-of-town vacation. To keep time for ourselves. To be with each other. To bond away from somewhere else. To make love on those virgin islands...


Hindi ko alam kung gaano pa katagal aabutin ang relasyon namin. Sobrang mahal ko sya to the point that I almost gave up everything for him. He might not be able to do the same for me, yet, I don't expect anything in return. I know he loves me too... and I know that he also loves someone else...


Before, I keep telling myself that I won't fall in love again. Masarap na masakit umibig. I guess that's the thing that made love really different from something else. It's capable of transforming nothing into something.


I'm not crazy to realize that time will come that we will need to take our own roads. Gustuhin ko mang wag but then we really need to... for some reason... He's married.


I don't know where this path will lead me. But I keep on praying to our Divine Source - to please give me more understanding, more patience, a more open-mind to accept things as it is when that day comes.


I know that this is just a part of an unending search for the true meaning of love and I have yet to understand its mystery.


Hindi man tayo magkasama the whole lifetime... but I'll promise that I'll look for you in my next lifetime.