The Story

Maybe this is the time…

The right time to understand than to be understood…

The right time to put things in its place…

The right time to hurt, again…

The right time to let go…

Or probably the right time to start... again.

I am in a turning-six-year-old relationship. A very complicated relationship. Lahat na ata ay naranasan ko sa relasyon na to. Kala ko, this will be my happily ever after ending story, but I guess things just keep on changing.

Sabi nga mistakes in our life will keep on repeating until we don't have any choice but to accept it.

Things will not be always as what it “have been” and it is also not always as what it “will be”.

 I don't know... the only thing I want from now is to start a new life...

Trust

Relationship is based on trust... as far as I believe.

It is difficult to rebuild relationship from a lost trust.

I know so much about you that I'd rather choose to be silent or else I know that it'll lead to a fight.
I trusted you so much because I believe in you. I believe in your love for me. I believe in "us".

How many times I found that your into other guys... sending sweet emails, planning for your future, exchanging I love yous...
It hurts a lot, knowing that we didn't had the time to plan for ours. I feel that the weight of the world crushes on my shoulder.

But I choose to remain silent... because I love you.

I'm waiting for your confession but you choose to remain calm and relax.

Time goes by and I know that you will change... at least for the better.

Years passed... nothing happened. Things keep on repeating, much worse.

But I choose to remain silent... because I love you.

I don't know where it will lead us. I just wanted to tell you that I'm also human... I laugh, I cry, I get hurt.

Sometimes I wanted to go somewhere, some place where no one has even the slightest idea who I am... just to start a new life.

Nakakapagod na...

Love Is Blind?

11 years age gap.
I don't know if this is the reason kung bakit kami nagtagal?
I don't know.
Basta ang alam ko, things changed... suddenly.


Let's call him James. An executive in Makati. Cool. Maporma. May dating.


While I'm also working sa same industry where  he's in, bihira na lang kami magkita unlike before.
Kung magkita man kami usually uwian na. We'll meet somewhere then I'll accompany him pauwi.


I don't know if it is the years na tinagal namin or what. Suddenly nawala ang excitement everytime na magkikita kami.
But honestly, I love him. I can't imagine my day without him. I know he loves me too, but not the way I love him.
I don't even expect him to love me more than I have for him... I just want him to stay.


I don't want neither to hold him back nor force him to love me.
I just want the truth... even if it hurts... even it takes a lifetime of healing.